I think when I originally developed the boxes with Heidi,  I did for me to have a way of communicate with my children more effectively.  Funny, I am a therapist, I help others communicate, but it is still hard to say those one liners.   Perhaps I didn’t know when the moment was right (as if there is a right moment); with 3 kids I always felt tired so the emotional energy was gone to say it those things to my husband or friends.  Or maybe I can blame my parents because we did not communicate in our family. It is so easy to have the list of reasons and wait for the holiday to make us buy the card, make the card, or stop for a moment and say those important words.

I challenge myself, and all of you to every day, to stop and acknowledge one person in your life. And to those of you who do have families, once a week have dinner together and talk about something meaningful.  The other night at dinner, I found out my fifteen year old is going to get an award at school for a piece of her art, and all of us, especially her older sister and younger brother got to share how proud they were of her, and it led into a discussion on art.  My daughter had such joy on her face that her siblings were that proud and interested.  How great for all of them.   I realized in that moment this one sentence from her brother and sister ment so much.  Please share any stories you have of sharing with a person today, tomorrow  or dinner conversations you have had.  We are all in this together and we can all make the changes with each others support.

Please have a great day today and maybe someone will say one line to you today that matters.
Cece Feiler

Happy Thanksgiving from The Box Girls!

When my best friend Heidi and I created the Box of Questions six years ago it happened as a way to handle what could have been a disaster dinner for our 2 families. With 6 kids between us ranging between the ages of 6 to 11 and 2 hungry husbands we were out to dinner with very slow service. As melt downs started we began to ask questions some fun others serious and changed the dinner into one of the most meaningful experiences together. We have found the box of questions has been a great tool for our own families, friends and the larger community.

Now with three teenagers I still reach out to my friends for advice or just to listen to me complain. But my community helps me be a better mother, wife, friend and person. I am hoping the Box Girls’s blog can be a place for us to share with each other what we have done right and what we have done wrong. We can be a community to support each other. I will post a question of the week for anyone to answer, remember there are no right or wrong answers. I would also love to have you offer any questions you are thinking about because chances others have the same questions or some creative answers.

This week’s question. Which teacher or coach has had the most impact on you and why?

My response is with a bit of variation. This week my daughter had a volleyball tournament. She made the varsity team at her school this year and she is not starting. This has been hard for her and me as her mother keep to her spirits up. Her coach sat down with the team and shared a personal experience with the girls that so inspired my daughter I watched her cheering from the bench talking to her teammates when they came off the court to pump them up. I realized as a parent I could not find the right words to inspire my daughter to hang in there to be a good team player but the coach did. I was more proud of my daughter this weekend then when I’ve seen her kill the ball during games. This was test of her character and strength and coach was able to tap into it.

We love the family dinners report from the National Center for Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) which is empirical data about how often a family eats dinner together is a powerful indicator of whether a teen is likely to smoke, drink or use drugs and whether the teen is likely to perform better academically. Check it out at www.casacolumbia.org

Check out our great Family Dinner Box of Questions to help family dinners be more meaningful!